Who are you?

As a human being, two of the most difficult things you learn to do are talk and walk. We may not remember what it was like to take our first step, but for those of us who are parents, we remember what it was like for our children to take their first steps. We rejoiced, even celebrated.

But when you go to school, all of that changes. You are forced to sit, listen, and take notes. That’s just part of the process, and you have to trust it, but you’re confined to a space for countless hours, you start to feel a little… anxious.

At least I do.

I’ve been out formal education for nearly a decade, and so when it came time to further my career within the Army National Guard, it meant back going back to school.

I forgot what it was like to sit for an extended period of time with very few breaks in between each class.

There is sense of exhilaration that comes from studying, however, with all that anxiety built up, I needed a way to let go of the tension inside me.

So, I started running.

By trade, I am a photographer / filmmaker, and when I am not out in the field taking pictures, I am editing, which is understandably part of the job.

Since the day I purchased my first camera, photography has been away for me to express myself, it has also been a way for me to get out of my own head. It has been an escape from relentless thoughts, to-do-lists and worries associated with life.

In contrast, there is something about running that allowed me to escape reality — in a way photography wouldn’t allow me — that made me wish I could do it everyday.

There was a moment, while tuned into a 45 minute Peloton run on the treadmill, when I felt weightless — the best I had felt all week. Maybe it was the Red Hot Chili Peppers song blaring through my headphones, I don’t know… but in those moments of solitude, I felt like I could fly, and I did.

It’s the high runners talk about, the high that sets you free.

As difficult as it is to pick up studying again, I am reminded how invigorating it can be to devote all of your time and effort into something mew,

Imagine if you could devote two weeks, or longer, to something you’ve always wanted to do. How would your life be different? Would you be inspired? Would you change? How would your life be different?

When you are put into situations where your identity - so to speak - is stripped from you momentarily, and you’re left with nothing but the face looking back at you in the mirror, you can’t help but wonder, “Who am I, and what do I have to offer?”

All of my adult life, when asked, “What do you do for a living?” my response has always been, “I am a photographer.”

But what if I wasn’t that? Who would I be? What would I be?

Who are you when you have nothing else?

A classic example of this is Bruce Wayne in The Dark Knight Rises.

Bruce looses Alfred, his home, his warehouse of gadgets, and literally everything else. After fighting the masked mercenary, Bane, he wakes up in a pit of hell with a broken back. He’s forced to watch Gotham fall apart before his eyes while Bane ensures the bomb riding in the back of a military vehicle goes off on time.

In that moment of total helplessness and despair, Bruce Wayne decides he can’t sit around and watch Gotham be destroyed, so he gets up and nurses his way back to health.

Bruce had everyone reason to give up on Batman and a brighter future in Gotham, but he didn’t — he rose.

Very few will ever experience something so extreme, but in our own way, we’ve all lost something or someone, and each one of knows what it’s like to pick up the pieces.

It’s within those moments — the moments when we rise — that we are able look in the mirror with confidence and say, “I know who I am.”

On a rainy night at Fort Gregg-Adams, I ran to classical music as rain dripped from my nose. I had every reason to call off a few laps around the track, but I decided my comfort could wait.

So, I kept going. I needed to find myself on that track, and I did.

I found a way to express myself creatively without a camera in hand. Now did I wish I had a camera? Certainly. There were a dozen images I wanted to create, but I had to let it go so I could focus on being present — on finding myself on the track.

What things, in your life, do you need to let go of so you can focus on being present?

As a human being, two of the most difficult things you learn to do are talk and walk, and I would argue the third most difficult thing you may ever do is to discover who you are when you have nothing else to look upon but you.

When you have nothing else, who are you?